BOOK PREVIEW (Excerpt from Chapter 2)

NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE

… But before we could share that special first time together, I was raped by a schoolmate. It wasn’t a violent rape. It was seductive, a form of "date" rape where the affection and attention were invited but not the forced and unwanted penetration. I told him to stop. He ignored me and stole my virginity.

… With Wayne chasing me down the stairs, I headed to the basement of the school where it was unlikely we'd be caught. I let Wayne catch me. After all, I did have a huge crush on the guy. He was acting starved, like he absolutely had to have me. I enjoyed his desirous pursuit. He kissed me and I wanted another. “He is such a man”, I thought. I even enjoyed wrestling with him over releasing the clasps of my overalls. Once undone, the buckles hit the floor with a click. Wayne continued undressing me. I pretended to wrestle, but then willingly allowed him to lift my top; bearing to him my bra-clad, double-D breasts. He paused and stared as though amazed at how large they were. “Ohhh…nice”, he said placing one hand on each. From one breast to the other, Wayne kissed hungrily and caressed my entire body. I held onto his chiseled muscular back and exhaled a grumbled moan from the pleasure. It was like I was in and out of awareness. It felt amazing. I had never been touched in such a grown up way before. The feeling was stirring up some wild new sensations inside. Still, I was ready to stop but couldn’t seem to get Wayne’s attention. I needed his attention so we could end this before it all went too far. I was silently searching for a way to cause an interruption. When he tried to undo my bra closures in the back, I resisted. Immediately, he shifted his focus to getting my pants off. It was happening so fast. My inexperience was becoming apparent. While I was naively having fun with the sexual play, Wayne was pursuing a mission to get sex. Since I was wearing overalls, and the clasps were already undone, it was not difficult at all for him to pull my pants down.

In a flash, this game had spun completely out of my control. There I was in the basement of my high school in an ultra vulnerable position; baby doll t-shirt turned up, overalls bunched around my ankles, pink bikini panties and lacy white bra exposed. We were on the steps and Wayne was tugging at my underwear. I was saying "no" and wrestling the same as when he tried to pull my shirt up, only this time my "no" meant "no". The problem was that it didn't sound any different. Wayne pulled out a condom and for the first time, I was terrified. He definitely had the wrong idea. “My intent was not to have sex with you”, I thought. Ideas of how to escape ran through my mind and stayed there. I tore the condom out of his hand and tossed it into a corner. It was my desperate attempt to say again, "no sex". This meant nothing to him. In an instant, he…was inside me without my permission. I…